Some people look at the glass half full or half empty. I don’t really know which is right. I sometimes wish I had an answer for everything but at the same time I’m so thankful I don’t.

I stood with you. Not everything was going according to my “plan” but we were still on the right track. I was doing my best to shove down any and all feeling of what I knew would have to come. It was your day though, not mine and I would never want to ruin it. All the people rushing by. The kids loudly shouting. I was so damn hungry. Waiting. I had to wait. But they’re not answering and games are always played so I -not for once, or at that not for last- went and got food. It might seem ridiculous but the anxiety was something not everyone can know. Anyways fast forward. We were standing there, in what felt like the middle of the room, but actually wasn’t. I thought I was okay. I thought I was in control I can manage this. But then it all fell apart. Suddenly we were in the middle of the room. It’s like that time I was in a glass box. Did anyone see? This time I didn’t yell but after that why didn’t anyone ask if things were okay? How did no one see that? You put your hand on my throat and squeezed. And I so badly wish it was any other person in the world. I know you didn’t really mean it but you did it. There was a look in your eyes. And then you laid on the floor as if it happened to you and I knelt down to comfort you. I hope you don’t remember because I wish there was an answer to how I could erase it.

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